Winning Sure Is Sexy

"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings."

~Earl Wilson~

There are certain perks that come along with winning. This is an undeniable fact of professional sports. And no, I’m not talking about the media hungry celebrities who show up only at big games and during the playoffs, vying for good seats to maximize the photo ops. Bandwagon fans, Johnny-Come-Lately’s, and the corporate sponsor jamokes that line the box seats have no idea what it means to truly love a team…no matter what.

They’re only attracted to the winning because everyone knows that winning is sexy. Winning is glamorous. Winning is a high unlike any other. Even the all powerful Tony Soprano is not immune! One look at last night’s episode of the Sopranos, appropriately titled “Chasing It” and it becomes crystal clear. We’re all in search of that intoxicating buzz that comes along with the thrill of victory. Maybe it’s not the Yankees, or even sports. Maybe for you its gambling, sexual conquests or the stock market…but we’ve all got our vices.

Winning can make the ugliest fella look like Brad Pitt. Winning forgives all sins; just ask Mr. Strawberry and Mr. Gooden. Winning glosses over unflattering truths, hides secrets, and buries lies.

Nobody wants to lose. Not in baseball and certainly not in life. But sometimes, circumstances beat us down, threaten our ultimate goals and prevent us from succeeding. Whatever you may have thought about Alex Rodriguez before his recent Superman impression…You can’t possibly believe that he came to NY and switched positions merely because he wanted a different view of the field, do you? No! He came to win. He came to be a sexy player on a sexy team, in the sexiest organization in all of professional sports.

But things have changed. This is not the sexy 1996 team. This is 2007 and there is nothing sexy about watching Carla Pavano in her skirt toss yet another bullpen session or listening to Derek Jeter whine about how hard everyone is being on his manager. There’ve been other times that Derek should have used his CAPTAIN’S VOICE for the good of the team but he was no where to be found.

This season is only a month old and hopefully all of this panic will prove to be premature. But unforeseen injuries aside…it’s really hard to watch. We can second guess the moves of Brian Cashman, we can cringe every time our overworked bullpen blows another game, we can hunt down the Rocket and beg him to save the day, we can kick-scream- and cry…but this team still has to find a way to win and as fans, we have to prove that we aren’t just attracted to the sexiness of winning.

This is that point in a relationship where you realize your perfect man has some flaws. Maybe he chews with his mouth opened or likes to wrestle alligators for fun. Whatever the dings in his armor happen to be…you realize that you love him anyway.

This team certainly has flaws. I’m sure most fans think they could get more hits than our first baseman, and that their sliders would drop in for more strikes than FarnsworthLESS but none of that matters. We aren’t running the show…we’re only watching it. If they cared about what we thought, the good seats wouldn’t be reserved for those corporate sponsor jamokes. But this is a business and when the product loses its sexiness…you can bet those suits will all find something better to do with their Saturday afternoons.

Look maybe firing Joe Torre isn’t the answer and maybe it doesn’t make things better… but changes need to be made otherwise this is going to get even uglier.

Ugly Betty may be quite a hit…but no one wants to watch Ugly Yankee.

As a fan, deeply in love with this team…I can only hope that the beautiful confines of the Ballpark in Arlington can help our boys get their sexy back! Beyond that…it’s anyone’s guess as to what drama the new Bronx Zoo would bring. Let’s hope we don't have to find out.

A Little Fire Would Be Nice Right Now!

"And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive,

Carved my name into his leather seat...

I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights,

slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats!"

~ Carrie Underwood~

Is anyone else mad? Maybe I'm all alone on this island of Yankee anger. I got exactly 3 hours of sleep last night but I can only hope that my tossing and turning was minimal compared to the night manager Joe Torre probably had. With the Red Sox in town for the first game of a three game set, the Yankees extended their losing streak to 7 in a row.

The more I watch, the more I have to wonder if A-Rod is the only Yankee who actually got the memo that the 2007 season has begun. Between a struggling Bobby Abreu, an aging Mariano Rivera, the useless 100MPH arm of Kyle FarnsworthLESS, countless injuries, and all of the other sordid excuses…it’s starting to look more and more like the 1980’s around here every single day.

Where is the fire? Where is the love? Where is the passion? I know it’s only April and there’s a ton of baseball left to be played but damn this is ugly. Boy am I glad I don’t have to do post game debriefs on these last few games. Heck, at this point I'm just going to make it easy on myself and blame former flame thrower, Scott Proctor for the entire debacle…that always seems to help.

Well, I’m off in search of alcohol to numb the pain. The way I figure it, if I don’t remember the games…they don’t count, right? I'll probably have to throw on some old DVDs of that 1996 team...now there was a bunch of guys a girl could root for!

Listen Yankee fans, how ever you choose to deal with this mess I hope you still manage to have a great Saturday! If all else fails, don’t forget to fine tune your resumes…because if this keeps up, there’s gonna be a few job openings in the Bronx.

Boy, Am I Glad That's OVER!

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course,

on where you stop your story.”

~Orson Welles~

Endings are scary because they tend to ask more questions than they answer. It’s the fear of the unknown that leaves doors open and slams the ones we wish would never be closed.

Life is this way.

Relationships unexpectedly change, love dies, people come and go but you have to find a way to keep playing the game. It’s like this in baseball too.

Last season, fans were thrust into a panic when Iron Man, Hideki Matsui bent his wrist into a pretzel. Who would have imagined just a few weeks later, the Stadium would be going crazy for a kid named Melky after he made that catch against Manny Ramirez?

If you are always fretting about the unforeseen obstacles of tomorrow, you miss the beauty in the ride today. And believe me…If I’ve learned one thing this year, it’s to saver the joys as they come and move forward.

The Yankees stumbled into Boston this weekend on the broken backs of an overused bullpen, with inexperienced starters filling in and a manager who seems unwilling to adapt. But it’s only April and this is a marathon…not a sprint. Over the course of the season there will be roster moves, injuries and unexpected heroes. Through out the season of our lives, there will be great loves, great disappointments and unforeseen blessings. One victory, one defeat, one failure, one setback does not define the season…not in life and certainly not in baseball.

All that being said…Scott Proctor should never pitch against Boston again. It's like asking that Sanjaya kid to arm wrestle Kyle Farnsworth or something.

Have a great day...the weather is lovely and the boys are playing Tampa tonight. Now, there's a team with a truly horrible bullpen! If thats not reason to smile, I don't know what is.

How Could I NOT Post This?

After last night's loss to the Red Sox...How could I NOT post this?

Monday Morning Hangover

"If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you'll die a lot of times." ~Dean Smith~

Pulled hamstrings, sore arms, and errors…OH MY! What the hell happened this weekend? Is there a full moon or something? Derek Jeter leads the team in errors, Mariano Rivera gives up a walk-off homer to a man named SCUTARO for Christ’s sake, and Carla “Iron Horse” Pavano falls victim to the injury bug and lands on the DL! Where does it end? Okay, so the last one isn’t shocking …but still it’s all a big NO BUENO for the Bombers this Monday.

Bad weather on the East Coast has led to countless delays and canceled flights. Some of the beat writers are making their way home via Vegas of all places so let’s hope Henderson resident, Jason Giambi doesn’t decide to join them. With the way things have been going…a girl’s just gotta say a prayer of thanks that this is happening in April and not August.

You all do realize that it’s only the second week of the season, right? Because judging by the reactions it’s hard to tell. Look, clearly this team needs some vitamins and a few more minutes of pre-game stretching but the sky is not falling. There are plenty of silver linings in this Nor’easter fueled gray cloud of doom. Hey, look at it this way …with Moose, Wang and Miss Carla all out of commission…we’ll finally get to see some of this young pitching everyone keeps raving about. And hey, no one is talking about Alex and Derek’s tattered friendship anymore! That’s gotta be a good thing, no?

Clearly, there will be no baseball tonight with the off day and possibly not even tomorrow night if this weather keeps up. So Yankee fans are going to have to all pull themselves away from the ledge and take a deep breath. Let’s try something relaxing like coloring, watching a movie or working on those Manny Ramirez voodoo dolls for this weekend’s series against the Sox.

Look, it could be worse. We could be listening to Lou Piniella freak out! And every team has a Carla Pavano to worry about…Hello, Mark Prior. So before you start bringing eye charts to the Stadium to test those fashion challenged glasses of Crazy Kyle Farnsworth or canonizing Brian Bruney for a few good innings…remember that this great baseball season is a marathon and not a sprint. There’s a long way to go folks…lets just hope A-Rod is as good in the fall as he’s been this spring.

Now everyone go stretch your hammies and take a chill pill!

Idiots Are Everywhere! What's A Girl To Do?

"The triumph can't be had without the struggle.

And I know what struggle is. I have spent a lifetime trying to share what it has meant to be a woman first in the world of sports so that other young women have a chance to reach their dreams." ~ Wilma Rudolph (1940-1994)~

While his comments were insensitive and seemed to be fueled by something much more sinister than a feeble attempt at comedy, the problem is not specifically Don Imus. This horrible incident has shed light on a national epidemic of sexism, especially in the testosterone driven world of sports.

I’ve often spoken of my childhood and the fact that I grew up playing everything from soccer to softball to basketball. I even ran a half-marathon before I became a teenager! In sports I found my solitude and my strength. The confident sense of self and assurance that organized sports provided me with, led me to pursue a career in the sports industry.

Through the years, I have been afforded an intimate look at the private lives of athletes and the shenanigans that whirl behind the scenes. So I was no stranger to rumors, gossip or lies. But as a cast member of last years Ultimate Roadtrip, I quickly found out, that my knowledge about the game didn’t matter at all.

Comments on message boards dissected everything from my choice of clothing to the way I wore my make-up. It was a painful reminder that my opinion on the validity of the designated hitter paled in comparison to wearing a pink Yankee hat. It was hurtful, because I wanted to represent all of those dedicated women, the girls who grew up playing wiffle ball instead of with Barbie dolls. Women who weren’t afraid to sweat, or bleed, or yell. Women who ultimately, like me, grew up relishing the fact that you can look fabulous in Vera Wang and still know the difference between a curve ball and a cutter.

Instead, I was berated, encouraged to show more cleavage and ultimately the victim of an all out smear campaign. They call it a personal life for a reason and what translates into off the field drama can ultimate affect many innocent people. I am not a feminist in the true sense of the word. I love having the door held open for me, but trust me when I tell you there is no chivalry in the sports world.

Here’s a little secret example of how little respect women receive from some dopes. In the beginning of the season I would talk freely about my opinions on the game as it was happening. “Why is Farnsworth trying to beat hitters with a slider when he throws 100 MPH? If it doesn’t slide at 84 or 85, it just comes in looking like a big fat softball…”

So I would say something like that and member of the show would scoff. This person would try to make me feel stupid in front of other people but when it was time to do our post game debriefs…this person WOULD STEAL MY EXACT WORDS.

I quickly learned to shut my mouth and just watch the games because to me, it never was about being portrayed by the editors in any particular way. For me, it was always about baseball and getting to watch 162 games. But do you know what happened? People started writing that I was unfriendly, that I was a bitch, that I was ungrateful. So I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.

I wasn’t there to fluff my hair up in a feeble attempt to get recognized by fans. I wasn’t there to prove how cool I was or how ‘down’ I was. I wasn’t there to be mocked or cat-called or any of the other things that happened. I was there because I loved this team and this game enough to walk away from family, friends and my life for 7 months. The chance to attend all of those games far outweighed the risks of facing the real world when it was over.

I say all of this because those girls from the Rutgers woman’s team play basketball because they love it, because they’re getting an education, because it’s a passion and a means to much more. The fact that they achieved so much this season, doesn’t invite the despicable comments of someone like Don Imus. Sure, every athlete knows about criticism. You want to talk about holes in their game, or any other on the court stuff…its fair play. But when those girls stepped onto the hardwood in Cleveland, they weren’t thinking about their hair or if some jackass with a radio show was going to find them attractive. They just wanted to win.

Some people don’t think this is a problem. They say, just look at the advancements that women have made in the sports industry. You have women announcers and women in the front office. And yes, we have come a long way but you don’t hear anyone criticizing Michael Kay’s hair as means to justify his over the top home-run calls.

Women will continue to run and jump and shoot and score…we will not be deterred. Some will be beautiful, some will be smart but they’ll all keep on playing, watching and reporting with an integrity lost to the likes of Mr. Don Imus and the other idiots who share his small-minded mentality.

Idol Tuesday And All Is Well

So I didn’t post about yesterday’s game because my momma always said if I didn’t have anything nice to say, I should keep my trap shut! Sidney Ponson was pitching for Minnesota and there was nothing positive for me to talk about so instead I spent the entire game quietly praying for the Yanks to rock the big Aruban’s world. Luckily for Carl Pavano they did just that.

Mr. Pavano had a solid outing and more importantly became the first Yankee starter to work past the 5th inning. Kudos to him for continuing to make progress but I’m still waiting for the other spike to drop. Maybe I am just paranoid or something.

With all that’s going on, it’s hard for a girl not to be a little freaked out.

Speaking about freaks….I’d like to take a moment and talk about something extremely vital and important….How the hell can we get Sanjaya off American Idol? Well, so much for my mother’s advice about not saying mean things because tonight is J-Lo night on Idol and that can mean only one thing for the fans. It’s going to be really painful to watch this kid and his hair meander through yet another genre of music.

Let’s get smart people! Down with Sanjaya once and for all…. I’m convinced that half the Yankee roster would be more entertaining in a talent show than him. I’d rather watch Jason Giambi on air-guitar, Mike Mussina on the damn violin, or good old Farnsy banging away on the drums. But that’s just me.

Have a great Tuesday…if you happen to be in Minnesota, remember the Yanks are trying that optional early batting practice thing.

A-Rod Does Something Good! Really Good!

"Ahh, Jesus, I like him very much, but He no help with curveball." - Serrano.

"Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?" - Harris

Last season, I came up with quite a few silly nicknames for Alex Rodriguez. “Highlights MacGee”- “Caramel Clydesdale” - “The Purple Lipped Wonder”… and so on. Don’t judge me. You might do the same thing if you had to sit through 162 games, listening to the awful malarkey that some casual fans say on the road. For my own amusement, I often make up ridiculous nicknames for the players. All of which, I try to keep humorous and clean so that when I heckle I won’t offend any young children sitting near me.

After all, baseball is America’s pastime and this country has enough things contributing to the breakdown of the family nucleus without some loud mouth Jersey girl ruining a random family’s annual trip to the ballpark. Needless to say, all of my creative heckling was for not because those segments never made the show. Turns out the network doesn’t typically appreciate that creative brand of humor. No worries, since I’m no longer an employee, this season all bets are off.

It was cold at the Stadium today but the warm sun made sure it wasn’t as blustery as the last few nights have been. Thank goodness because this was a pretty boring game until Jason Giambi hit that three run blast in the 8th to bring the Yanks within one.


Magic happens in the Bronx. You’ve heard Derek Jeter talk about the ghosts coming out. But after last year, one had to figure that sort of thing simply didn’t apply to Alex Rodriguez. Time and time again we’ve all watched A-Rod fall behind in the count, swing and miss …or worse...connect and send a weak grounder barely out of the infield. So when he came up with the bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the 9th, it almost seemed like fate was playing some cruel Ground Hog Day type joke on the Bombers.

I turned to my friend and sighed…we all knew the ending to this story and it certainly wasn’t going to be pretty. Maybe the ghosts have been too busy to help out. It’s quite possible that our two favorite weapons, Mystique and Aura have had more important things to do then champion the third baseman’s cause. Whatever the reasons, A-Rod simply hasn’t come through in the clutch…

But not today, folks! Today, all is right in the Yankee bubble. Forget that Matsui might be gone for a spell. Forget that our starting pitching has been weak. Forget that Jeter goes to his left about as efficiently as Heather Mills doing the tango. None of that matters right now because Alex Rodriguez sent one into the black to win the game today!

Yes I realize that it’s April and not October but the Caramel Clydesdale has to start somewhere and the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs is about as clutch as it gets in the first week of the season….

I personally never booed Alex last season but I understand the frustration with his woes. So hopefully in some small way, today’s events can start momentum rolling his way during situations like this. Alex thoroughly enjoyed his curtain call, even if Derek had to force him out of the dugout to soak up the much desired affections of the fans.

I've got a cold from sitting out there all day but it was worth it... and now, I'm off to celebrate. Sure, the skeptics will say it was merely an Easter miracle but if there really is a God , you just gotta believe that even He had to be cheering for A-Rod today!

First Rain Out Of The Season! Boooo!

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,

you gotta put up with the rain."

~ Dolly Parton ~

There’s an old saying that goes a little something like this. “Sometimes you win. Sometime you lose. And sometimes it RAINS!” Well, now is one of those times as today’s Yankee game has already been called due to nasty wet weather. Kudos to the POWERS-THE-BE for calling this one early because there’s nothing more frustrating than sitting in the cold rain for a few hours with no hope of baseball. The fans often leave frustrated and soggy after shelling out money for parking, snacks and some sort of overpriced Yankee poncho..... so a game like today that’s been canceled before the gates open is truly a blessing.

Today’s rainout made me remember the countless delays that we sat though last season. While the players were warm, dry and otherwise creatively occupied in the safe confines of the clubhouse…we were contractually obligated to wait it out with bells on while the cameras documented each raindrop falling on our heads.

There’s a ton of things a fan can do to occupy themselves during a rain delay….here’s a few of my favorite ways to survive even the longest delay… in no particular order.

- Bust out the IPod and start jamming to the “Rain Delay Mix”…this is much better than listening to the Stadium’s organ playing a constant loop of “Singing in the Rain”. Your personal rain delay mix should be chock full of baseball related/uplifting ditties to help you pass the time. Remember that as soon as the tarp comes off the field, you still have at least 40 minutes to wait while the grounds crew work their magic and the players warm up again so this mix should be at least 2 hours long. My mix has all the Yankee at-bat songs, a few favorite artists of some of the players, and regular stadium jams thrown in for good measure but you should put in anything that makes you feel better about getting wet.

- Seek cover! Most people head for the hills when the rain starts and that means the Stadium hallways and bathrooms are going to be jam packed with restless natives. Last season, KJ and I often sought shelter in the Loge section because it’s the driest seat in the house. If you have Stadium, Pinstripe or the much coveted Yankee Club passes…now is the time to use them!



- Go ahead and chat it up with the folks around you! You never know who you can meet during a delay. Last season in Toronto we met some locals that advised us where the best nightlife was…priceless information if you’re traveling! Keep in mind the team is in the clubhouse playing cards, watching television and snacking on a ton of goodies…which brings me to my next survival tip…FOOD.

- Baseball, is the most social sport of them all. It’s like a prolonged picnic with great entertainment. Even the most casual fan knows that if you throw some chips and sandwiches into a clear bag you can tote them into the ballpark for later. Sure, we all love a good hot dog now and again but when a rain delay looms…who really wants to wait on those long lines? Keep in mind that if it’s before the 8th inning, beer will still be available during the delay…should you be into that sort of thing! Twin Donut around the corner from Yankee Stadium has the best value and makes one hell of a sandwich too!

- Keep tabs via the radio or internet. For those of you with Blackberry’s or other internet connected phones, you can easily find out if the game has been called before the Stadium announces it. Usually, they try to give the players a head start out of the parking lot and make the fans wait awhile before informing them there will be no game. So it always helps to stay connected! If you aren’t high tech…a good old fashioned radio will do. Chances are there’s an old timer sitting near you listening to his transistor.

And by all means please pay attention to the weather reports! Last season in Detroit, Maria and I were happily watching batting practice, leaning on the Yankee dugout when one of the players asked us if we happened to watch the weather channel. We looked up into the clear blue sky and laughed! “What the hell was he talking about?” We scoffed, considering how beautiful that night was. Guess what? 10 minutes later they were covering the field with the tarp, the skies had opened up and a 45 minute torrential downpour ensued! That player really knew what he was talking about...so try to avoid getting caught out there without proper gear by planning ahead and you’ll be glad you did. Trust me on that.


- When and if the game ever does resumes, scout for better seats if you haven’t already done so. The security guards at Yankee Stadium take their job way too seriously so chances are unless you know them, you won’t get far. Don’t be too ambitious (this means you won’t be Field Boxing it up) but if you try the Loge or Main Level you should be fine.


Well, that’s all for now folks. I am off to bake cookies and write a few chapters in the book. I hope you stay warm and dry where ever you happen to be tonight. I’m sure the YES Network will have some Yankee Classics on but I’ll be watching American Idol. All I have to say is if that creepy Sanjaya doesn’t get voted off, I’m going to freak out!

Mission 27 In 2007

The Yankees kicked off the 2007 season with a 9-5 victory over Tampa this afternoon. A-Rod was booed and cheered and then booed and cheered again. I guess that’s par for the course when it comes to this thing. While critics will dismiss his 8th inning 2 run homer as so “not clutch”, to his credit, Rodriguez ultimately scored the go ahead run in the 7th after stealing second base to put himself in scoring position.

The game was slightly sloppy as both Derek Jeter and Mr. Rodriguez had errors today. Gold gloves be damned!

This Yankee line up is downright sick. Robinson Cano is hitting 8th and he finished 3rd in the AL last year. It almost seems unfair…almost. Speaking of great players….I just have to say this, Jorge Posada is so underrated. Hanging out with Jeter all the time has clearly rubbed off on him.

Tonight is the annual Welcome Home dinner and there should be a ton of outpouring of affection for Bobby Murcer judging by the reception he received during today’s game.

Between a pre-game clubhouse phone call by Bernie Williams, Cory Lidle’s widow and young son tossing out the first pitch, Carl Pavano finally earning a pay check and of course the roller coaster ride that is Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez… Opening Day certainly had all the dramatic makings required to peak even the most casual fan’s interest.

Yanks Tie It Up!

Derek Jeter with the bases loaded in the 6th drives a grounder up the middle and the Yankees tie it up at 5. Never gets old watching Captain Clutch game after game….he wears his success well.

Johnny Damon left the game with cramps in his calves. Funny, I would have expected this kind of thing from Carl Pavano but at least now Melky will get a taste of Opening Day. Hopefully, Damon’s condition is nothing to fret about. Pavano didn't totally suck today so that's cool.

Scott Kasmir’s day is done and looks like the sun is coming out…this is a great thing because the Yanks should have no trouble facing Tampa’s bullpen.

Yanks Strike First

In the spirit of continuing last year’s trend, Alex Rodriguez struck out with two men on base, leaving the job to the very competent Jason Giambi who promptly put the Bombers on the board with the first 2 RBI’s of 2007. This whole DH thing might workout for the big guy after all...

And So It Begins...

It’s Opening Day and I couldn’t be happier! For baseball fans, this is Christmas, your 21st birthday and wild bachelor party all rolled up into one beautifully wrapped package. I am trying a remote blogging thing today from my Blackberry so we’ll see how it goes.

The start of our 2007 season is in Carl Pavano’s hands now....the Bleacher Creatures are chanting their love for fan favorite Bernie Williams…First opening day without Number 51 since 1991.

A-Rod and his struggles continue as he misjudges his first pop-up of the season...ahh. Good to see something's never change!